People Shocked to Find Out that Politician Who Showed Obvious Signs of White Nationalism Is Actually a White Nationalist

Will Smith ‘19

Shock has come across the country ever since Rep. Stephen Queen accidentally admitted to being a white nationalist. Famed conservative politician Humphrey Humphries has voiced his surprise about the situation. “We could never have seen this coming”, he said. “I wish we hadn’t blatantly ignored the warning signs, such as when he said that we should build an electric fence along our border with Mexico because ‘it works at keeping livestock out’. I wish we had spoken out when he said that ‘the idea that every culture is equal is not objectively true’. Unfortunately, there was only so much that we could have noticed beforehand. The warning signs are often too subtle.” Famed time-zone pundit Caucasius Neckbeard voiced his opinions on the issue as well. “I mean, we knew all along he was a white nationalist”, he said. “However, now that he’s a not-so-secret white nationalist and we can no longer plead innocence in our support for him, we have decided to disown him. I thought he would know better to keep communicating to his supporters in rather obvious dog whistles rather than blatant racism. I sincerely hope nothing like this that could threaten to expose my twisted worldview ever happens again.”