Water We Talkin' 'Bout!

“What is the best water fountain on campus?” Water is something we all have to taste everyday so knowing which one is the tastiest of the bland batch adds just a dash of joy into your day. Having tasted a wide variety of waters—from the lowest pH levels to the highest (please do not attempt that) and from still to sparkling water—I consider myself a qualified individual to rank these fountains and provide a definitive answer to a world-shaking question. Despite my qualifications, I had a group of fellow water enthusiasts assist in tasting, so I will take a brief moment to thank them. Thank you, Amruth Ram, Ben Parrish, Quinn Edwards, Quinton Riddle, and Magdalena Slamen. My research would not be complete without your input.

To clarify, the water team judges the water on four factors: taste, location, temperature, and miscellaneous factors. We take the average of those factors and we’ll give you the overall score and a brief description of the fountain.

Dining Hall Fountain/Filling Station:

Score: 6.4

The temperature is the most neutral of neutral–it’s true lukewarm. The location is great, having it tucked away from the main area of the dining hall makes it a go-to location to quickly fill up your cup when the main water dispenser line is packed. Not only is there rarely a queue for this refill station, but the flow on the station is fast without being overwhelming.

Science Building Fountains: (The following Three fountains are located together so they’ll get a few brief sentences)

Tall Fountain Sc: 7.3

Best of the three, good taste, decent location, bonus points for the silliness shared among the three. Special place in my heart because I get water here after advisory.

Short Fountain Sc:  5.6

Brace yourself because the trajectory is off and it shoots up into the taller fountain. Has the most flavor, and although that flavor is dirt, I suppose some points should be awarded for that. I think the fountain itself is funny because the pressure has been high since forever.

Refilling Station Sc::  5

Nothing to write home about. The taste isn’t notable, and the temperature is wack.

Town Hall Boys’ Restroom: 2.75

The taste is not good. The location is not good. The temperature is actually pretty good. The actual water fountain part not working is not good. Only the water bottle refilling part worked which is quite sad. Was not worth the assault on our senses.

Town Hall Girls’ Restroom: 2.5

The taste was only a smidge better than the boys’. The location is not good. The temperature is worse than the boys’. Both the fountain and refill station work (allegedly). Thank you Magdalena for collecting the water for us. None of the boys on the team entered the bathroom so worry not, dear reader.

C Building Fountain: 6.75

Good taste and elite temperature. Good location for the most part, though it can get a bit crowded in between classes. I can see the temperature possibly being worse in the warmer months, so we’ll have to return this fountain and reassess it when it warms up.

B Building Fountains:

Refilling Station B: 6.25

Just go to C building. Nothing notable. The location is good since it’s never packed. I was told by some members of the team that the water is a bit nasty in the spring time.

Water Fountain B: 6

Don’t waste your time with the mediocre.

Front Gym: 

Water Fountain Fr. Gym: 7.8

Amazing taste, perfect temperature. Pooie location—it smelt like vinegar. 

Refill Station Fr. Gym: 6.5

Everything is the same but the temperature is wack. The temperature is like the dining hall where it’s neutral and nothing exciting.

Gym Boys’ Locker Room: 8.6

To say that I am biased is to say that the grass is green. The taste is just as good as the front of the gym, if not better. The location is good because think of all those poor underclassmen rushing to get water after P.E; for them it’s like finding an oasis in the Atacama Desert. The temperature is a scrumdiddlyumptiously crisp and cool.

That concludes our findings for this month. The library was out of commission as they swapped out fountains, and we forgot to send in Magdalena to sample the girls’ locker room. We hope to continue checking in on these fountains and trying the ones we missed in future articles. 

Please feel free to send your harshest criticism on my ranking to aaron.tarrance@indiansprings.org. Thank you.